Alpha

The morning, the mourning came. Light shines upon that which had killed him. The kris, the feather, the easel.

The night before was that of inexplicable ecstasy, gratuitous anguish. The illusion he had created, splattered over the weeping marble, spoke, insulted, caressed, devoured, impaled. He was given the gift of flight, but for a brief moment. A spec on the rotational iron and steel, the towering giant, the minuscule coin.

The seamless transition had been missed. It had consumed him. Dissolved, dispersed, diffused. Wondering, wandering. Contemplation, he thought of where he could have ended it. It had been overlooked. He was falling, plummeting.

Recreation was impossible.

Omega.

I had killed him.

Moments pass, he drove carrying the guilt of what he had done, the pleasure of what he had done. Though there was something deeper, stabbing him, deeper, there was, the thought of her, the car turning right in front of him, the infuriated vehicles careening towards him on the opposite side of the road, her smile was stabbing him right in the middle of his forehead, the grayed images on his dashboard rattled with the volleying thoughts.

Absolution, he confessed, though he knew that time and only time could heal him, could save him from this fate, this obsession.

"What now?"

Bitter Ordeal.

He had already grown accustomed to the sensation of eternal falling. The descent into the bottomless hollowness was all too familiar.

A touch of insanity. He braced himself for the ride ahead. Darkness creeping, his vision was slowly fading. He sensed the imminence of his demise.

He had expected this to happen far earlier in the past. The expectation of his demise had readied him for its inevitable eventuality. He recalled all the events leading up to this point. The piercing cold, the caring warmth, the blissful torment of interaction. He closes his eyes, his mind.

Dated Jul 1, '09 7:52 PM

The Adventure.

A new morning came. The thinker remembered the chaos that had ensued the day before and in quiet desperation he tried to block out all memories with gratuitously loud, emotional music.

I wanna have the same last dream again,
the one where I wake up and I'm alive.

The eventuality was quite uncertain. His opinions on the inevitable had shifted dramatically after having been subjected to events contrary to what he thought inevitable. The results of yesterday was not what he had expected.

Inevitable defeat? No. An extended ultimatum.

The Asthenia that had set in had been abolished, though only temporary, by the extension of his existence.

Bittersweet, once more he thought. The readiness he had mustered was spent. No longer was there a source for support for what lay in store for the thinker, though the few more days of bliss could be enough to compensate for the eternal descension into the abyss.

It was over.

He awoke from the dream-like state.

...and here we go, life's waiting to begin.
Life's waiting to begin...

After everything was lost, his hope persevered.

Dated Jun 22, '09 9:20 PM

There he stood.

Morning came, the thinker thought.

The previous night he stood at a familiar scenery, Katipunan Avenue. A sense of home encapsulates him, but also a sense of inevitable defeat.

He stared at the nighttime skyline, the sky he had known for years now, the sky he had lived under, the sky under which he experienced everything, the sky under which his eventual demise would occur.

Across the road, at the school he had known as home, he thought of what the future holds, tears dripping from his face. A bittersweet sensation. The looming eventuality.

The thinker became the dreamer. Dreamers are destined for great things, his late father always expressed. It was father's day. The words were always alien to the thinker, though now he realized its meaning. A rush of emotion came. He then knew after this inevitable defeat, this eventual death, there is reincarnation.

He felt everyone with him, in spirit. A sense of security. A readiness for the inevitable.

image from http://modlife.com/angelsandairwaves
Dated Jun 22, '09 6:00 AM